


The construction of reality

by Satellite_Of_Love



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Detectives, Angst, Blood and Violence, Childhood Trauma, Crime, Cult, Horror, It's Not Paranoia If They're Really Out To Get You, M/M, Military, Mistery, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Panic, Read author notes for trigger warnings., Set in 1980-ish, Thriller, Vigilantism, attempt at philosophy, murders
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-08
Updated: 2020-11-08
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:48:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27057475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Satellite_Of_Love/pseuds/Satellite_Of_Love
Summary: Detective Han Jisung joins childhood rival Dr. Lee Minho in an investigation to find the perpetrator of a series of murders. Hwang Hyunjin, an alluring and troubled man seems to be the perfect suspect, but as the investigation evolves, as a cult gets involved and the situation turns increasingly violent, Detective Jisung will have to face the fact that reality is far more complex than what he had once thought.Set on a small, lonely town in the '80, with South Korea living under a dictatorial regime.
Relationships: Han Jisung | Han/Hwang Hyunjin, Han Jisung | Han/Lee Minho | Lee Know
Comments: 5
Kudos: 34
Collections: Stray Kids SpookFest





	The construction of reality

**Author's Note:**

> My prompt was number 5: A series of murders have a small, sleepy town reeling, desperate to find the perpetrator. Character A says he was just caught in the wrong place at the wrong time but has just become the prime suspect in an enraged and increasingly hostile community.
> 
> I'm so happy to have gotten this promt!
> 
> This work was edited by my amazing beta that I will disclose once I am able to <3
> 
> Trigger Warnings for this chapter:  
> This is a detective thriller genre, which usually contains talks about murder and sexual abuse. There is a lot of anxiety and someone vomits. Next chapters will become more gruesome, so I will keep on updating the tw. Please stay safe!
> 
> Oh, there's also a bit of homophobia in this chapter which, I know, we are all tired of seeing. Don't worry, no one gets attacked for it. It is more an acknowledgement of homophobia being a thing on the background (we are in the '80s after all). One of the characters has been a victim of homophobia in the past, but that will be mentioned in the next chapters.
> 
> Edit: Frontdating now that the anonymity was revealed!

When subjected to a paranoid state, Jisung falls into the bad habit of confusing unrelated phenomena with the object that he is both chasing and being chased by, prey to the illusion of faces and voices that aren’t really there.

The offer falls into his hands the same day the third body is found. Less than twenty-four hours later, Jisung is setting foot on the soil of this mostly unpaved town, getting mud in his boots and receiving a dirty look from a white man in a military uniform. He stares at the discolored houses and the few children playing on the street, all while wondering if this case is really worth his time.

Three seemingly connected murders in the span of four months sounds like an interesting case, as they show a pattern with the potential to become fascinating. It is a problem to solve that would look amazing in anyone’s record if the perpetrator gets caught. He understands why other detectives would throw themselves into this case without even thinking it twice.

These reasons hadn’t been enough to push Jisung into the investigation. He is a curious man, sure, but there are a lot more pressing cases right there in the capital, whose solving he is immersed in and that he can’t just leave behind for the sake of entertainment or recognition. 

That’s a lie.

Responsibilities aren’t the first thing Jisung thinks about when making a decision.

It has nothing to do with his current workload, nor with prior commitments. He's just not that interested in the case. It is almost solved by now and that would be enough for him not to feel inclined into accepting it.

That’s until he sees the names of the people involved in it.

There’s not a face to attach to the name, not one Jisung knows currently. The images in his mind are outdated and blurred. He lets out a snarky laugh as he tries to draw the features in his head, coming out with an almost grotesque image of a twelve year old wearing a suit far too big for his body. In his head, the kid is bending down to inspect a corpse.

There’s only emptiness seating there where a memory should be found. A face isn’t necessary. The important thing is the concept, it is the feelings that the name evokes. Frustration is the one that comes to the surface the quickest, fighting for the throne against jealousy and excitement. 

_Lee Minho, consultant_ , states the paper that was handed to Jisung with the case’s information.. _He finally came back from the USA_ , Jisung thinks. Even though he is not one to care for gossip, this time he hopes there’s some story behind it, something shameful that will inevitably reach his ears.

Of course, Jisung is more than aware that this is a common name, but the context is enough for him to be sure that this is not another Lee Minho. This is _his_ Minho. Two different Lee Minhos working in the same specific field would’ve been more a coincidence than what this world is capable of managing. 

Once the information is confirmed, there is no room left for hesitation: Jisung takes the case before anyone else can get on his way. He packs less than what he needs, caught in the need to arrive as soon as possible to the shithole he’ll be working in for some time. He abandons previous cases and leaves questions unanswered.

He doesn’t ask anybody to water his single plant, nor does he search for someone to take care of his apartment and pay his bills. There will be people waiting for him. There’s a man waiting for him on his bed. There is a little girl next door waiting for him to trade stickers with. He doesn’t tell them either. After all, a resourceful man like Jisung will find a way to overcome these obstacles with ease.

Or just ignore them until they aren’t a problem anymore.

Inspector Park Jinyoung is the person that greets him once he arrives at the local police station. The place is the farthest from welcoming Jisung has ever seen. There are people dressed in all-white that look at him as if he carries the plague in his suitcase. There’s a group of foreign men in military uniforms that inspect him as if he is some kind of terrorist. On top of that, an ugly dog barks at him as if it has nothing better to do. 

Inspector Park comes to say that he is very happy to know that Jisung will be in charge of the investigation from now on. Jisung bends as he greets him, knowing that there’s a chance he is not being as respectful as he should. 

After a while he starts looking over Park’s shoulder, left and right, up and down, and even behind as he shakes his hand. _Dr. Lee isn’t here yet_ , Inspector Park informs him after Jisung has no choice but to ask directly. _He will be coming later, and once he arrives, the details of the case will be thoroughly discussed. This protocol has been asked by Dr. Lee himself._

Jisung waits, but he has never learnt how to be patient.

Throughout his life, Jisung has been deemed as a reckless individual. What this means is that he occupies a specific place in an established typology, a classification he continues to try to prove right. Instead of avoiding such categorization, he embraces it and wears it proudly. Time is too sparse to be spent in trying to change what he believes constitutes his nature. _You are what you are_ , he thinks. _There is no point in denying your essence._

Under certain circumstances, however, Jisung wishes he could be bothered a little more with the consequences of his actions and a little less with the constant need to fulfill his immediate pleasures. This is one of those moments.

At first, the only objection he could’ve presented to a smoke break at the back of the police station is the current temperature—the freezing hours of the night being far from an ideal situation to put oneself out there with bare hands. This argument is weak at best. Cold had never been an impediment before and it wouldn’t be one now.

After three drags off the cigarette, Jisung is presented with a second objection, one that overpowers his usual inclination to put his needs before anything else. An objection that touches a particular place of his unconscious, reviving buried memories and stirring unfinished business.

‘’You shouldn’t do that here.’’

The calm, almost sweet voice startles Jisung, making him shiver on the spot. He is thankful to be able to blame the brumal wind for his reaction, which is a preferable excuse over the fear that a detective like him shouldn’t be experiencing

Turning around to find the source of the voice is a mere formality. He doesn’t need to turn to know who the person talking to him is.

On the back of his mind, he spares one thought to notice that this is not the first time Minho has directed these same words towards him.

When subjected to a paranoid state, Jisung falls into the bad habit of confusing unrelated phenomena with the object that he is both chasing and being chased by, prey to the illusion of faces and voices that aren’t really there. 

By the time Minho arrived, the longer hand of the clock had already made a full turn. During the last hour, Jisung had been finding Minho’s face and voice in every corner of the station. Whether it is for Jisung’s pleasure or misery, this time he knows for sure that what lies behind him is the only presence he has been expecting to meet.

He doesn’t have the upper hand and it’s all his damn fault for thinking that going out for a smoke was a good idea. No, that’s a silly thought. Minho’s advantage has been obvious since the moment Jisung decided to be the last person to join this investigation. He can’t let small situations like this get under his skin.

There is only one possible way to go: forward.

‘’Lee Minho-ssi,’’ Jisung says, proceeding to follow the rules of what he is expected to do in social situations like this one, rules that he has never found easy to act in accordance to. Fortunately for him, this simple greeting follows an almost precise formula that he doesn’t need to understand to be able to perform, unlike further interaction in which he will, most likely, prove himself unfit.

Jisung hides the cigarette behind his back as he bows. The action has no foreseeable use: Minho has already seen him smoking, he has already commented on it. Hiding the cigarette won’t make the man in front of him forget its existence. Well, it doesn’t matter. Not everything Jisung does needs to be fucking logical.

In this position, Jisung’s boots are in his direct line of vision. Covered by the dirt that has stuck to them ever since he first set his feet on this small town, they feel unfit. His appearance tends to be relegated to an unprivileged place in his list of priorities, but this is the effect that Lee Minho has on him. It’s been just a few minutes and he is already feeling inadequate. 

As he tries to get rid of the dirt in his shoes he can’t help but wonder what this investigation will do to his self-esteem in the long run.

‘’No need to keep it so formal, Jisung.’’

There’s a certain something in his way of talking, he seems uneasy. Bowing as he is, Jisung can only be guided by the tone and cadence of his voice. More time will be needed to confirm if this is an effect caused by Jisung or if this is just the way Minho usually speaks nowadays.

Jisung decides to focus on the semantics rather than the form of the phrase. The request for informality is unexpected, but he has the ability to quickly adapt to any given circumstances. Even when the situation consists of someone as predictable as Minho changing his behavior out of the blue. Jisung files that information for later, for it might be useful.

It might even be an advantage.

He just doesn’t understand yet what it would be. Fuck, he is getting eager.

‘’Hyung, then.’’ With a smirk, Jisung straightens his back. Whether his nerves are present or not it doesn’t matter now. He is capable of playing his cards, pretending that he hasn’t been waiting for hours to finally see Minho again, worried of how this would go. ‘’It’s been a while.’’

There is no specific interest from Jisung in acknowledging Minho’s features, he just wants to see his face to meet the man that his childhood acquaintance has become. There is no interest in Jisung, but he does it nevertheless, and he isn’t prepared for the image that meets his eyes. As unfair as life and genetics are in general, this situation appears to be particularly iniquitous. The young prodigy has grown into a handsome man, more handsome than his teenage acne and slouchy posture could’ve ever predicted. Jisung doesn’t care about it, or so he tries to tell himself, it just seems highly improbable for one person to have inherited every possible positive trait that his parents had to give.

‘’You really shouldn’t smoke here,’’ Minho tells him with a calmed voice.

‘’In the police station?’’

‘’In this town,’’ he clarifies. ‘’People here won’t like you if they see you smoking, and you need them to like you if you want them to cooperate.’’

‘’It’s just a cig, I don’t get it,’’ Jisung scoffs. The idea of a single smoke doing any harm to the investigation sounds ridiculous. He presses the cigarette against the sole of his shoe all the same. ‘’But you are the one that lives here, so I guess you would know better.’’

Minho smiles. A smile that has been present in every single of their encounters. A smile that has a specific meaning, a smile that shows up every time Minho knows something that Jisung doesn’t. A smile that holds a special power in driving Jisung mad.

A motherfucking smug smile.

Time doesn’t always hold the same value; it doesn’t always mean the same. When Jisung was a gullible ten year-old he knew for a fact that he would never be able to beat the prodigious twelve year-old. He knew that the son of his father’s friend would always hold a higher standard against him. He knew that those two years put Minho on a pedestal that he would never be able reach. 

In the real world, however, two years of difference means a lot less.

There’s no need to prove himself to anyone. They’ve called him here for a reason. Jisung’s confident he’s good at what he does. His shoulders relax as he mirrors Minho’s smirk. This is a game that can be played by two.

But just like in the last two times they met each other, Minho doesn’t seem interested in playing any sort of game. He’s just being his true self.

‘’Thank you for trusting me. I believe we will need to trust one another to do this effectively…’’

‘’I didn’t think you would end up working for the police,’’ Jisung interrupts whatever idea Minho was trying to form. This is half because his surprise is genuine, and half because he remembers the scathing comments Minho had once made about Jisung’s current profession. This is not to annoy Minho, Jisung just happens to dislike it when things don’t add up. Errors in logic make his brain itch.

The tense smile in Minho’s face falters. Jisung had expected that his comment would create a tense atmosphere, but he doesn’t regret saying it. It was only a matter of time anyway, so there’s no need beat around the bushes. They know truths about each other that would make the closest of friends jealous. 

‘’I don’t work for the police.’’ Minho’s defensive attitude translates in the way he crosses his arms.

‘’And yet here you are.’’

Minho has this way of talking, his phrases tend to be longer than normal. Even when he was a kid he would speak in this embellished way.

‘’I was asked to be part of this investigation as a consultant, given that I am an expert in the field.’’ 

‘’How is that not working for the police?’’ Jisung chuckles. Once again, he is not necessarily trying to push Minho’s buttons. He just finds his denial amusing.

‘’It is not a permanent thing,’’ Minho adds through gritted teeth. His well-put façade is falling apart, which means Jisung is hitting a sensitive nerve.

‘’Whatever you say.’’ Jisung lets a second go by before saying the last word. ‘’ _Hyung._ ’’

Minho is quick to change the subject.

‘’Jinyoung hyung is waiting for us.’’

‘’Jinyoung hyung? I see that you are already on a first-name basis with the Inspector.’’

‘’We have been working together for a while. He has consulted me on specific matters for as long as I’ve been here.’’

‘’And how long has that been?’’

‘’A while.’’

Minho has way too many advantages, but Jisung believes that he will be able to win no matter what.

‘’Dr. Lee is an expert on the subject, he has spent the last few years working for his Ph.D. in the USA focusing on crime and deviance. He has been kind enough to accept being part of this investigation,’’ Inspector Park explains as he fumbles with the old, rusty projector. 

‘’Five years spent on reading books makes you an expert?” Jisung lets out a slow whistle. “I wish someone had told me that, I wouldn’t have had to risk my ass on the streets.’’

‘’According to what I have been informed, you were never ‘on the streets’, Jisung. You went straight from desk duty to the homicide department,’’ Minho says, flipping through papers as he gets ready-

 _Fucking_ …Whatever, it doesn’t matter. Jisung knows his opponent and should be smarter and avoid bragging about non-existent achievements. 

‘’Wow, imagine putting the effort to look up my background before the actual investigation. Also, and for your information, investigating takes a lot more risk than locking yourself in a library and pretending to know what goes on in the field when you have never actually been there.’’

‘’There was never any interest in me to experience what the field is like, and if I’m doing it _now_ it’s only because I’m worried about the people dying in this town.’’ Minho taps his short fingers on the table, not making any noise, just marking a rhythm. ‘’And believe me, I have invested all of my very precious time in this.’’

Most of the time, Jisung observes, Minho seems oblivious to his own cockiness. Unlike Jisung, who will shamelessly brag expecting to get a reaction from the other person—whether annoyance or respect—, Minho doesn’t care about it. He has a better posture than when he was a teenager: he sits straight and with his chin up, thinks before talking and blinks lazily when he finds something to be stupid. There’s no cockiness when there’s nothing to pretend nor there is an act behind it. Minho believes his truth and that seems to be enough for him. He doesn’t need other people to believe it too.

This is somewhat infuriating.

‘’Since you went over my record, have you by any chance found out how I like my coffee? Because I could use one right now,’’ Jisung comments nonchalantly. He needs to annoy him just like Minho had managed to do before. But the plan falls short. After all, Jisung didn’t take into account the fact that they aren’t the only people in the room and that the goal of this meeting isn’t to resolve a fight between two bloated egos.

‘’Okay, okay, stop.’’ The much needed intervention comes from the mouth of the inspector, who is focused on moving forward. ‘’What the hell is going on between the two of you? Do you know each other?’’

‘’We were childhood…’’ Minho starts, but it seems he can’t bring himself to say the word _friends_. Instead, he turns around and looks at Jisung, waiting for him to give a proper answer.

‘’Our parents were friends, we saw each other a couple of times,’’ Jisung fills in, always quicker when it comes to giving a short and to the point answer. A glimpse of Minho’s eyes tells Jisung that the words aren’t satisfying, and he can’t help but agree.

The answer is unfulfilling, it isn’t enough to describe them. Its shallowness tastes bitter. But as it is, this doesn’t seem like the appropriate time for them to familiarize Inspector Park with the ups and downs of being the sons of two men obsessed with competing against each other, obsessed to the point of not caring about putting their own sons on the line.

‘’Do you have any problem with each other? I can’t have my two detectives fighting.’’

‘’I am not a detective,’’ Minho is quick to note. The ego wound that Jisung had prodded earlier is opening once again.

‘’For all practical matters, you are, doctor. That still doesn’t answer my question.’’

‘’We’ll be alright, Park Jinyoung-ssi, we just like to tease each other,’’ Jisung explains, his smile tense but hopeful that this will be enough to assure the inspector.

With a frown and a tired sigh, the problem is put on hold—at least until more urgent matters are solved. The projector, witness to years of violence and crime, is subjected once again to the proof of how far human violence can escalate. In a town as quiet as this one, however, Jisung wonders if perhaps this will be the first time that the device is forced to witness things of this magnitude.

The image gets distorted when Inspector Park stands in front of the light projecting onto the white board. His body is tainted with shades of black and red, the two most prominent colors that the picture holds. The scene becomes clearer as the inspector moves away, leaving behind him a picture that would be unnerving for any person unversed in the reality of crime. 

‘’As you have already been informed, we’ve had three murder cases in the last four months. We have reasons to believe that the perpetrator is a man, as it almost always is. The first victim was Shin Ryujin, a young girl, 18 years old, a student involved in activism,’’ Inspector Park changes the images on the wall, showing the same scene from different angles. The corpse is bruised, but other than that and the bloody cut on her throat she doesn’t have any other visible mutilations. ‘’She presented signs of sexual abuse, and the place her corpse was found was different from where the murder was perpetrated. No weapon was found.’’

‘’Was there any secretion found on her?’’ Jisung asks, his mind already trying to find details that could become important further on.

‘’No traces of semen, not on any of them.’’ Minho turns around, facing Jisung as if he had just noticed something. ‘’Wait, I don’t think the third body has been tested for that yet.’’

‘’It is normal procedure so it will be done, it just takes a while. In any case, we probably won’t find any on this one either,’’ Inspector Park explains.

‘’Please, call the lab and tell them to do it as soon as possible,” Minho requests. “After all this third case seems different from the two first.”

‘’How so? Is it because it is a man this time?’’ Eager to understand the full picture, Jisung can’t help but keep on asking questions instead of letting them expose the case in the way they had planned to. He doesn’t feel bad about this, this is his style and it has worked for him so far.

‘’Yes, but we also have other reasons. Let me explain it better to you.’’ Minho changes his posture, using his hands to follow his words. ‘’The second body found was Im Chohee, 25, a waitress that worked in a local diner. Just like the first girl, she died from blood loss and the suffocation provoked by it. She also presented signs of sexual abuse and no traces of semen were found on her. Her body wasn’t moved and this time a weapon was found, a hunting knife belonging to her father that had been stolen just one week prior to the murder.’’

A weapon belonging to someone from the victim’s family is something that activates Jisung’s brain, hungry to understand what this particular detail could mean.

‘’I see, perhaps the assassin has a thing for that.’’ Jisung looks up, glancing first to Minho and then to the inspector, trying to see what their opinions are on his hypothesis. ‘’Maybe he wants to take something from a family member to, I don’t know, hurt them? We should check the family of the first victim to see if they had any knife or something stolen from them.’’

‘’Interesting, Dr. Lee thought the same.” The inspector’s smile is faint but still present. “We tried but we had no luck, nothing had been stolen from them.’’

Knowing that Minho had thought about it first is both annoying and ego-boosting. Even if he hates the intellect that his _hyung_ possesses, Jisung can’t deny that he holds mad respect for him. Knowing that he himself had come with the same answer, maybe even quicker than Minho did, does feel like a praise. Too bad that the clue appears to be a dead end.

‘’We should still check with the family of the third victim, maybe it is not about family but about someone that has affection for the victim. If the first victim was an activist then there’s a chance of her family disregarding her for her political views. Perhaps the knife was taken from a close friend or boyfriend or something. I think we should take that into account.’’

‘’That is a great idea, Jisung.’’ The tone in Minho’s voice is hard to make out. He could both be actually interested in the idea or just trying to shut Jisung off without being too impolite. ‘’We should take that into account.’’

Jisung wants to say both _thank you_ and _I don’t care about your fucking opinion._ He says neither. 

‘’As it is, we might solve this even before we need to do that.’’ The inspector’s smile is more obvious this time, he seems almost excited.

‘’Why are you so sure?’’ Jisung asks.

‘’The day before yesterday we found the third body. That’s when we also found our primary suspect. Dr. Lee, would you like to explain it?’’

Minho nods, taking a second to breathe before proceeding to the explanation.

‘’Jisung, you know I joined the investigation after the second body was found, right? Well, this town hadn’t had a murder in five years, so having two so close to each other and being so similar could only mean one thing in my opinion: the same person committed both. Now, in the USA it is normal to see serial killers whose main target are young women, so that’s what we thought at first…’’

‘’Sorry, _serial killers_?’’ Jisung interrupts, unfamiliar with the term being used.

‘’Yes, people that kill more than once and whose motives to do so are different from self-defense. To be more precise, their reasons tend to be related to psychological, environmental and social determinations rather than anything else.’’

‘’I don’t get it. People kill because they are evil.’’

‘’The world is a little more complex than that, Jisung. If we could separate evil from good as easily as that then crime would’ve been eradicated by now.’’

‘’Are you saying that the person that committed this isn’t evil?’’ Jisung is unable to understand the point. The new information clashes in his mind with what he has always found obvious.

‘’No, what I am saying is that whether the perpetrator is evil or not, that is irrelevant. It won’t help us find him. That’s the way people have tried to approach criminology for centuries and crime rates are still as high as always.’’

Minho’s words suddenly make Jisung’s world feel empty, void of purpose. He feels like he is losing something that has been pivotal for his work.

‘’Then what the fuck are we even doing here, hyung?’’

‘’We are trying to catch a murderer with methods that have been scientifically proven to be effective.’’

‘’Dr. Lee has provided us with real interesting insights on how crime is being studied nowadays,’’ the Inspector adds, noticing Jisung’s skepticism. 

‘’Hm, I’m kinda curious about how that empirical evidence has been handled. I would like to read the studies myself.’’ He is just trying to be annoying and Minho can sense it. But deep down he wants—no, he _needs_ to find a way to refute this. Maybe Minho can sense this as well.

‘’I will provide you with all the literature you want, Jisung, but now is not the time to focus on that.’’

‘’The third body was identified as Yang Jeongin, 26, a male. He died from a laceration on his neck and presented signs of sexual abuse just like the other two victims, and like the first one, no weapon was found.’’ Inspector Park changes the image on the projector. ‘’Sleeping next to him was Hwang Hyunjin, a friend of the victim that claims to have heard nothing. This is our guy.’’

In the picture Jisung can only see the dead body, No traces of the man sleeping by the victim’s side had been caught on camera.

‘’What makes him such a perfect suspect?’’

‘’Not only was he found next to the corpse, but he had some of Jeongin’s hair on his hands. We are working on the motive, but we think that the two of them were close friends and that it is very unlikely for him to not have been the murderer.’’

‘’What’s the connection of the suspect with the other two girls?’’

‘’The three victims have been part of a rehabilitation program held by the local church, and Hyunjin had close contact at some point with the three of them, particularly with the last victim.’’

‘’Okay, it may be weak but I can see the connection. What I’m still failing to see is the motive.’’

A look is exchanged between the two other men in the room, something that, as usual, isn’t missed by Jisung’s hawk eyes. If someone was to ask him, he would’ve said that the two of them were trying to find the best way to approach a matter that hadn’t been exposed to daylight yet. What the subject could be, well…he expects to find out soon enough.

It is Minho who breaks eye contact first, after an approving nod from the inspector. Facing Jisung once again, he starts tracing imaginary lines on the table with his index finger. He is trying to find the correct words for whatever he is going to say. The tapping, the drawing. Jisung thinks that Minho might get nervous whenever talking to him.

‘’Jisung, I would like you to listen to me for a moment. In my field we have been working to develop some tentative typologies in order to classify these types of killers.’’

‘’Okay, you have my undivided attention.’’ Jisung lays back on his chair, focusing on the picture that Minho is trying to draw with his words.

‘’There are two categories we can put them in—’ideal types’ in the weberian sense if you’d like—which are organized serial killers and disorganized serial killers.’’

‘’That doesn’t seem to be too helpful, even the most uneducated person will be able to tell apart an organized person from a disorganized one,’’ he can’t help but interrupt, never one to let an inconsistency get away.

‘’Believe me, it is _very_ helpful. When you examine a considerable amount of serial killers, you’ll find that almost all of them fall into one of those categories. Knowing which one they fit in will make it easier to distinguish their patterns, and even help you decide the best method to catch them and make them confess. I believe that our suspect falls almost perfectly into the second category, disorganized killer.’’

‘’I’m having trouble grasping exactly how this works.’’

Minho looks at the ceiling, humming and trying to find the correct words to explain this.

‘’Let’s put it this way: you have five murders and two suspects. Suspect A is the younger children of his family. He has undergone harsh parental discipline and has criminal antecedents or mental illnesses. He is said to be eccentric or creepy, etc. Suspect B is the eldest child in his family. He is highly intelligent, charismatic, and helpful with the investigation, he seems to be very concerned about his appearance, etc. Now, if the murders seem premeditated, the victims follow a pattern and there’s a notorious and successful effort at hiding the traces, then we should be inclined to think that suspect B is the obvious choice. If, on the contrary, the murders are spontaneous, messy, don’t follow a pattern, etc., then you should point in Suspect A’s direction.’’

As if traces of paint that have to be layered in order to make a comprehensible image, Jisung is trying to connect the pieces of information he is given. He needs to make the data useful, and for that he first has to understand it in his own particular way, a way that differs from Minho’s thought process. He also needs to get rid of this particular prejudice, he is clearly not going to have his way when it comes to this investigation.

And perhaps, just perhaps, he is starting to make some meaning out of what is being told.

‘’So what you are saying is that, once again, it is the socio-psychological circumstances what differentiates killers?’’ Jisung asks, still processing the idea and allowing himself to absorb it.

‘’Exactly. I understand how this concept can be hard to swallow at first, but it is gaining attention and recognition by both academia and the police. It has been proven through analysis of a large amount of individuals and the results are overwhelmingly useful. It works.’’

‘’Why do you believe that these crimes fall into the disorganized category?’’ 

‘’We have a large number of reasons to believe so.’’

‘’May I be informed of them?’’ Jisung has always disliked the idea of accepting facts simply because someone is telling him to believe in them. The appeal to an authority fallacy is one he doesn’t fall into without some fight first.

‘’Well, for starters there wasn’t a proper attempt at hiding the body in any of the murders. Even if the first corpse was found in a different location from where the crime was perpetrated, there still wasn’t a real effort in trying to hide it. Two murder weapons are missing, but the wounds on the third body show us that the weapon was rusted and had an uneven shape. The murderer probably took whatever there was within reach to kill the victim.’’

‘’What about the second case? Robbing the weapon a week before shows premeditation.’’

‘’Well, I understand that, but I also think it is not that simple. See, after the third corpse was found we tried to gather as much information as possible on the first two victims. As it was, Im Chohee seemed to have a really bad relationship with her father. It wouldn’t surprise me if she had been the one that stole the knife and had it with her at the time of the murder. It wouldn’t be the first time she had stolen knives from them, since there was even a time when she took a gun from her father’s collection.’’

With this information, Jisung now understands why his idea about the murderer making some kind of statement with the weapons was brushed off the table pretty fast.

‘’What else do you have?’’

‘’We have witnesses, something that an organized killer wouldn’t allow to happen. Two women from church saw a man carrying a huge sack into the garbage dump where the first body was found, the day and time matches. The man was described as tall and lean, all dressed in black and without visible features. Following this, the owner of the grocery store in front of the area where the second body was found saw another tall man following the victim on the same day the second crime was perpetrated. He wasn’t able to provide much more than that, though. And now, with the third murder, not only the suspect was found sleeping next to the victim, there were also multiple witnesses that saw the two of them venturing into the woods.’’

‘’Not trying to be picky here, this man seems like the perfect suspect but I just don’t like disregarding details that could become important later on.’’

‘’As expected from Han Jisung. Go on, this is what I want from you,’’ Minho says, his tone sounding honest.

‘’Why two women and then a man?’’

This is the part that is making Jisung’s brain turn. It doesn’t add up. It doesn’t make sense.

‘’At first I also applied a gender analysis on the case, but now I think that it is something different. I believe that the sexual abuse was most likely perpetrated not to satisfy a sexual desire, but a desire for dominance. What I think is that he doesn’t need to be sexually attracted to the people he rapes, what he needs is to feel hatred or have a personal issue with them or with what they represent.’’

‘’In other words, it is more about payback that it is about cumming,’’ Inspector Park tries to clarify, perhaps trying to be funny. Or maybe he just is this blunt when talking.

‘’That sounds odd to me, I would be inclined to think that rape is the consequence of a man feeling an irrepressible desire for a women.’’

‘’Cases like this one show us that it is not as simple as that. A lot of times, rape is a punishment. It is a way of asserting the dominance that you wouldn’t be able to obtain otherwise. If you see some works about it, they show that it has nothing to do with sexual desire.’’

‘’We also believe that most victims were sexually abused after they were dead, not before. As Dr. Lee has explained to us, this is a common trait among disorganized serial killers,’’ The Inspector adds.

‘’So the connection comes from the church’s rehabilitation group and the motive has to do with a need for dominance?’’ Jisung asks, confused. Too much information is floating in his head and he is having a hard time trying to connect them all. Even in this state, he can’t deny that the case is starting to sound fascinating. No, it is not the case that's fascinating—it’s the new perspective on it. It’s this new way of understanding that’s both frightening and appealing. Contradictory feelings spark inside of Jisung, as he wants to fight it and let himself be engulfed by it at the same time.

‘’The motivation is still elusive. As it is, sometimes not even the killer can fully understand why they are committing such horrific acts. Most of the time they don’t think like everyone else does. For example, a killer may have gone through situations that constitute average behavior: absent fathers, harsh mothers, etc. What is different about them is the way they process these events.’’

‘’Okay. Then, why ask me to join when this seems to be pretty much already solved?’’

‘’Well, Dr. Lee is not a detective so he can’t fill out the paperwork, and we don’t have a detective experienced enough around here…’’ Inspector Park starts to say. His tone makes it seem as if he is trying to justify this more to himself than to the others.

‘’Sorry to interrupt you, hyung, but that’s bullshit. Jisung, I was the one that asked for you to come,’’ Minho cuts in, his eyes sharply staring into Jisung’s. He doesn’t look nervous anymore. ‘I know about the case you solved last year, how the few random details you picked up were key to catching the murderer. I have also seen first-hand how good you are at finding pieces of information that no one else can notice. There’s something bugging me in the back of my mind. I have been staring at all of this and there’s something that doesn’t quite fit, something that I am overlooking. I believed you would be able to see through it, and that’s why we called you.’’

‘’Not to be disrespectful, Inspector-nim, but this is surprising, I guess. I’m used to inspectors that want nothing else but the cases solved as soon as possible, and whatever suspected fucker to be left behind bars. Few are the ones who care about finding the actual truth behind the whole thing,’’ Jisung says, blunt and uncaring as he tends to be.

‘’It has been my work beside Dr. Lee what has shown me how important these things are. Given the chance, I would prefer for things to be done the right way,’’ Inspector Park explains. Once again, it seems directed to himself rather than to someone else.

‘’Where do we go from here, then?’’ Jisung asks, excited as he turns on his chair.

‘’Now we plan how to interrogate him.’’

Silence reigns as the new pair of coworkers sort out the tapes and notes that they will be using. When the time to enter the interrogation room arrives, Minho stops Jisung on the spot. 

‘’Jisung, there’s one more thing that I need to tell you…’’

Jisung turns around to look at Minho with furrowed brows and rapid blinking. What could’ve possibly been left unsaid after two hours of sorting out and planning this?

‘’Why did you wait until now? They are expecting us to be there right now.’’’

Minho hesitates before speaking. The way he breathes, the movement of his hands, the slight tremble in his voice: he is nervous again. Jisung wonders what he will do with his hands this time.

‘’I didn’t want to say this in front of Inspector Park,’’ he explains himself while avoiding Jisung’s eyes.

‘’Okay, say it now then.’’

‘’First I need you to understand that I have nothing against you.’’

There’s something burning in Jisung’s throat now, acid going the wrong direction and ending up on his tongue. Minho has managed to, once again, get under Jisung’s skin, invoking a certain nervousness that makes itself clear in the clenching of his stomach. 

What is it? Why is someone as assertive as Minho so uncomfortable with what he has to say? He has never been one to shy away from speaking his mind.

‘’Cut the bullshit, _hyung_.’’ The last word still sounds unfamiliar when rolling on his tongue, inaccurate and forced. He is not this close to Minho.

As expected, the answer still doesn’t come right away.

‘’Do you remember how I said earlier that the perspective of the investigator plays a crucial role in an investigation?’’

‘’Yes, I was present in class.’’

‘’When I say this I mean more than what seems obvious. Your motivations, the way you see the world, the affinity or rejection you may feel towards a suspect. It all needs to be taken into account if you want the results to be as objective as possible.’’

‘’I don’t see where you are going.’’

‘’Jisung, I believe that there’s a certain obstacle that you’ll meet when interrogating Hwang Hyunjin.’’

‘’Hwang Hyunjin? Do you mean the suspect?’’ Jisung looks down at the data on the files, running his fingers through it as he tries to find something with the potential to make Minho’s words click. ‘’Do you think I will have something against him? That I will hate him before I give him the chance to speak?’’

‘’On the contrary.’’

Jisung snorts. _Now what the fuck is he talking about?_ This conversation has no reason to be. ‘’I’m not a sentimental guy, hyung. You don’t need to worry about me sympathizing with a fucking suspect.’’

‘’It’s not empathy what I fear, at least not at first…’’ Minho is tapping his fingers against the recording device. Nervous, _very_ nervous.

‘’Minho hyung, I think I have been pretty patient with you. I get it, you are the expert, you are the older one, etcetera. I don’t really care about any of that, I need you to get to the point right now, please. We both have more important things to do.’’

Seemingly more relaxed now, Minho finally looks back at Jisung. His eyes have turned into stone once again, focused and unforgiven. Jisung is not too sure how to feel about this. While he wants this conversation to end, he isn’t particularly eager to hear what the other man has been preparing to say.

‘’Like I said, Jisung, I don’t have anything against you. Please know that I don’t judge you either, I’m a firm believer that people should be allowed to do whatever they want with their private lives.’’

 _Fuck._ Now Jisung knows where this is going. _Fuck, fuck, fuck,_ please let it not be what he thinks this is. _Not this, not now, not here._ Not coming from fucking Lee Minho, the guy he will never be able to beat.

This has to his fucking father’s doing, fucking up his life even from beyond the grave.

‘’I apologize for speaking this bluntly, though you were the one that asked for this to be quick, but…’’

‘’But?’’

The words sound almost distant, resembling a memory more than a real-life conversation. Resonating like the dialogue from a movie that Jisung is watching but not participating in.

‘’I know that you are attracted to men.’’

The edges of his sight become blurry as his head starts spinning. This is real. _This can’t be happening._ He licks his dried lips in what feels like a slow-movie scene, caught in the instinct to defend himself, tangled in the fight or flight response.

‘’I don’t…’’ He tries to say something, _anything_. Nothing comes out because there is nothing to say.

‘’Please don’t lie to me, there is no point in doing so.’’

‘’You are a fucking…’’ The last word cracks. His voice is not coming out as confident as it usually is.

He is dizzy. He is scared even if he will not admit it. He’s thinking about the worst-case scenario for this to unravel. Bad things, bad things. Minho’s hands on his shoulders are cold and grounding. His grip is tense as he does his best to keep Jisung focused instead of flying into the realm of infinite possibilities.

‘’Jisung, listen to me. I’m not saying this to make you feel bad. I really don’t care about this, there’s just something I need you to understand.’’ Minho is trying to find his eyes. ‘’You are most likely going to feel attracted to Hwang Hyunjin, I just know it. I need you to fight it or it might compromise the results of the investigation. That’s all I’m trying to say,’’ Minho explains. His grip on Jisung’s shoulders starts to feel calming.

Minho knows it and there is no point in denying it. That’s not the crux of the matter. Jisung shouldn’t be focusing on it, he should be trying to understand the meaning behind Minho’s words.

‘’Just because I like…it doesn’t mean that I will…’’

‘’No, I know. The suspect is particularly… _alluring_ , otherwise I wouldn’t be saying this.’’

‘’That still doesn’t mean anything.’’

‘’Jisung,’’ Minho sighs, uneasy but trying to sound sincere. ‘’There’s a reason why I asked you to call me hyung and why I’m telling you this now: I want to protect you. I know this town and I know how fucked up things are around here, I just want to warn you so we can make sure that neither you nor the investigation are put in danger.’’ 

The following words seem to be more difficult for Minho to pronounce. ‘’I want to help you and that’s why I’m saying this. If I see you constituting a liability for the investigation I’m going to do whatever I need to get you out of this, do you understand that? People are dying and we need to stop this. We won’t be able to do it if I notice that you are putting obstacles in it.’’

‘’Don’t be fucking stupid, I know how to do my job.’’

‘’I’m not stupid, Jisung, and you know that. Look, I understand that whatever has shaped our relationship in the past might put me under an enemy light, but I am not your enemy. I’m your ally. Deep down you know that I don’t say shit just to mess with people and if I’m saying this it is because I am truly concerned.’’

There’s a certain peculiarity in fate, a certain dimension of it that has always constituted a source of fear for Jisung. _Alea jacta est._ Inevitable and irreversible, fate is often painted as a prison impossible to break free. But that in itself isn’t enough to terrorize the depths of Jisung’s mind. 

It is the auto sabotage, the fact that for fate to be fulfilled, a person needs to try to avoid it. Every step meant to avoid the unavoidable is required for the prophecy to become real. Every step you take to achieve self-determination is a necessary thing to go back to the this-is-how-things-are-supposed-to-be path.

History repeats itself. Oedipus wouldn’t have killed Laius if Laius hadn’t put his efforts in trying to prove the prophecy wrong. Oedipus wouldn’t have married Jocasta nor pulled his eyes out. Just like that, Jisung thinks, Minho might have been acting in favor of the exact same path he dreads. He might have dug his own grave.

Prideful as he is, Jisung wants to believe that he would never be attracted to a suspect but deep down he knows that field work is far more complicated than what manuals say, that a lot of factors can’t be written down and can’t be controlled. In the end, he can’t say he truly believes in fate. What he does believe in is cause and effect, action and reaction, external stimuli, internal processing and external reaction. 

Jisung had wondered what his advantage could be/was and the answer is: none.. He doesn’t have one. It is not as much of an advantage for him as it is a disadvantage for Minho. What is it? Well, the fact that Minho seems to care about Jisung more than what he could’ve predicted. It is not going to be of any help, it is not going to get him the victory that he wants—no, that he _deserves_.

A dim light is set on most of the surfaces of the interrogation room, softening the expressions and making everything ten times gloomier.

Already having been warned by Minho, Hyunjin’s appearance doesn’t come as a surprise. His delicate yet sharp features don't make Jisung gasp nor do they make his heart race, for it had already been [racing] in his core since Minho predicted something he shouldn't have known.

Hwang Hyunjin is beautiful. The type of beauty that can get on magazine covers and have people on their feet to get a second of his time. Embedded in a particular culture, Jisung would be a hypocrite to pretend that he hasn’t always had a thing for the pretty ones. Having said that, that statement doesn't lead anywhere. The fact that A) Jisung tends to like pretty men and B) Hwang Hyunjin is a pretty man, doesn’t mean that Jisung will like him. That’s not how logics work, especially not when you put the intervening variable into the equation and acknowledge that C) Hyunjin is a suspect and Jisung is the detective trying to make him confess.

Hell, if it wasn’t for Minho’s fucking comment he probably wouldn’t even be thinking about this right now. He would’ve thought _"Fuck, what a shame that such a pretty man is most likely a murderous monster"_ and moved on to try to make him confess. 

Inserted in a cheap version of Bentham’s panoptic, Jisung is a prey to the eyes of people he can’t see. With a tape machine immortalizing his every word choice. With experts behind the two-way mirror monitoring every action or lack thereof from the suspect. With Minho by his side keeping an eye on him at all times, Jisung feels far away from his element.

He despises control and he despises it even more when it is other people who can exert it on him. A drop of sweat rolls down his forehead as Minho introduces both of them to the suspect. Soon enough it is time for Jisung to talk.

Putting a character on, Jisung bends forward, smiling with sympathy in his features as he talks to the man sitting in front of them. He lets a breath out before opening his mouth.

_Time for the show._

‘’Hwang Hyunjin-ssi, first of all we would like to say how sorry we are for your loss. We have been informed that Yang Jeongin and you were close friends, is that right?’’ Jisung starts.

The suspect’s lips are a particular shape of big and pouty, like those of a woman in a lipstick commercial— the kind that would sell out the entire stock of any brand. They tremble when Jisung presents the question to him. The voice coming out of them sounds dry and brittle, like he has been crying.

‘’Yes…yes, he was my best friend,’’ Hyunjin sniffles before adding, ‘’my only friend if I am being honest.’’

‘’That’s good. Yes, it’s good that you are trying to be honest with us. Why would you say that you don’t have a lot of friends?’’ Jisungs asks, remembering how Minho said that it is important to use the suspect’s own words, to make them clarify things whose meaning people tend to assume. It is _there_ where the truth will most likely be found.

‘’That’s pretty self-explanatory, isn’t it?’’ Minho adds with a calculated bite to his words, playing the role that they had both agreed on. ‘’He doesn’t look like the kind that would have many friends.’’

Hyunjin’s Adam apple bobs when he swallows, a heavy movement that makes Jisung want to offer him some water. No, he shouldn’t do that unless it is Hyunjin the one asking for it.

‘’What I meant to say is that none of my other friends are at Jeongin’s level, he was truly one of a kind.’’

‘’ _Was?_ It seems like you have accepted his death already,’’ Minho notes.

A choking sound comes out of the suspect. He looks at his hands as his hair falls over his eyes.

‘’Isn’t that something a bit cruel to say? It was you, detectives, the ones that said that you were sorry for my loss. That means he is… he is dead.’’

‘’Is that what confirmed Jeongin's death for you? The detective saying that he’s sorry for your loss? I would’ve thought that a dead body next to yours was confirmation enough.’’

Jisung thinks that Minho might be pushing this too far. Luckily, the responsibility of mediating has landed on him. He opens his mouth, but before he can say anything, Hyunjin cuts in.

‘’I already told the cops that I saw nothing. Whoever… _killed_ Jeongin drugged me, I didn’t even see him properly when the police arrived, I was too confused to notice anything.’’ Minho is certainly managing to piss him off judging by the way Hyunjin’s voice starts rising. Still, even with a louder tone, the suspect is still maintaining the looks of a grieving, tranquil person. Just like any normal person trying to defend themselves from lies directed to them.

‘’Look, Hyunjin. May I call you Hyunjin?’’ Jisung asks, waiting for the suspect to nod before going on. ‘’We know that this situation must be hell for you, I can’t imagine what it would feel like to wake up and find your friend...well, _dead._ We really are just trying to help you, and for that we need to know a few things.’’

Building rapport is important: giving the suspect someone he can talk to, someone he can rely on. But they also need to get a reaction out of him, making it crucial for Minho and him to balance each other out.

The fact that they have to play the opposite role helps them tame down their natural impulses.

‘’I will do anything to get him justice,’’ the suspect declares while clenching his fists.

Justice. Interesting choice of words.

‘’Then please tell us about Yang Jeongin. Who was him? What was your relationship with him? Why would someone want to kill him?’’

Minho scoffs. They aren’t supposed to make so many questions at once, but Jisung decides that this is the best way to get Hyunjin to talk.

‘’Jeongin-ah, he was…he was a really wonderful human being. He was good to everyone he met. I have absolutely no idea why would anyone do something as horrid as this.’’ Hyunjin raises his chin a little bit, making his eyes visible once again. They look adoring as he talks about Jeongin, as if the mere memory of him gave him joy.

‘’Did you meet him at the rehabilitation center?’’ Jisung asks.

‘’No, I’ve known him for the longest time, we just decided to go there together. We’ve been best friends ever since we were little. We were neighbors and used to play together all the time,’’ he remembers with fondness in his voice. ‘’We had to separate for a while when I was sent to a private boarding school, but after I came back it was as if time hadn’t passed at all…’’

‘’But it did pass. Didn’t you come back to find out he had a drug addiction?’’ Minho remarks.

‘’Jeongin-ah wanted to make his parents proud more than anything…’’ Hyunjin answers, gloomy this time. The joy in his features is toning down, and his hands are trembling again. ‘’When you get caught on shit it’s not easy to talk about it. His parents would’ve kicked him out if they found out. The center…actually, the whole church was really good to us.’’

‘’That’s interesting, Hyunjin-ssi, because I spoke with some of the administrators. According to their records, both of you got away before the time for check-out was due, even against the recommendations given by the center itself.’’ Minho lets out with a somber tone.

The comment seems to have caused a considerable amount of stress on the subject. The previous ease in his speech is gone and his eyes open up, afraid.

‘’How…how do you know about that?’’

‘’I am not obligated to reveal my sources, but it really isn’t something difficult to find out. Show them a badge and they will put any record right away.’’

Minho is bluffing. He doesn’t even have a badge, he can’t just go to a place and demand information. Still, Jisung pretends to not have noticed this. He will ask him how he got that information later.

‘’There was no point in us staying there any longer…Jeongin had been cured from his addiction and things had started turning...dull and boring. He could go back home and make his parents proud like he desired to.’’

Another mental note: Hunjin’s rationalization of his early departure from the program. 

‘’What about you?’’ Minho asks.

‘’What about me?’’ Hyunjin asks back quickly.

‘’Where _you_ cured from your addiction by then?’’

Hyunjin scoffs once again, leaning back on his chair and crossing his arms. He moves his head as he talks to himself. His leg starts bouncing, looking irritated but somehow more comfortable than before.

‘’I was never an addict,’’ He declares.

‘’Weren’t you? Then what were you doing at the center?’’ Minho keeps on picking at him.

‘’I was just accompanying him, I didn’t need it myself.’’

Jisung and Minho cross a look. Is he blatantly lying or is he just in denial? Hyunjin’s addictions were a clear and undeniable part of his record, something that had followed him since his young adult days.

‘’Hyunjin-ssi, the rehabilitation program costs a fortune, I don’t believe anyone would go there if there was no need,’’ Jisung tries to suggest in a more friendly tone, pointing out with calm the inconsistencies of what he is saying.

‘’No, you don’t understand.’’ Hyunjin looks frustrated, ‘’I didn’t -I didn’t have to pay, I just did things around and that was enough for me to be allowed to stay.’’

‘’Was that really enough?’’ Jisung insists.

‘’My family…they have money, okay? They helped me pay for Jeongin’s and I paid the rest by helping around in whatever way I could.’’

Minho’s frown deepens.

‘’Wait. Were you the one paying for Yang Jeongin’s treatment?’’ Minho asks, interested.

‘’Yes, like I said, he really didn’t want his parents to find out, so I helped him.’’

‘’It sounds like a lot of work just to help some friend out.’’ Minho’s tone is snarky, he even scoffs as he says it. 

A moment passes before Hyunjin decides to answer, the whole surrounding turns darker as they wait for his answer.

‘’He wasn’t just some friend- he was my best friend.’’ Tears after tears roll down Hyunjin’s cheeks. He tries to dry them with the sleeve of his jumper, but once he’s done he doesn’t take his hand out of his face. With his fist on his mouth, he seems to be trying to repress the angsty scream that his body wants to let out. His whole frame is now trembling at the pain inside of him.

Something inside Jisung tells him that this situation is not right, there’s nothing pleasant in watching this man convolve in pain. He takes the quick decision to leave the subject behind for now. He wants to have more information regarding the night in question.

And, just perhaps, he can’t stand to see someone like Hyunjin in so much pain. It is making his own heart hurt.

‘’What were you doing in the woods that night?’’ Jisung asks, receiving a roll of eyes from Minho, who isn’t the happiest about the subject changing. He probably thinks that they should keep on pressuring on that point, but Jisung doesn’t care.

The suspect clears his throat and gets his hand out off face. He is trying to compose himself, to regain his control over his body.

‘’I already said this when the police interrogated me as soon as I got here,’’ he says in a quiet, tranquil and nasal voice. His tone and cadence are almost relaxing now.

‘’Like you’ve said it yourself, you were pretty drugged by the time you arrived here. We are giving you the chance to explain anything you might’ve missed out,’’ Jisung offers, trying to reach out to this beautiful creature that has been caught in such a straining situation.

The story follows the same path of the report that Jisung has already read. On a Tuesday night, Yang Jeongin and Hwang Hyunjin decided to go camping. It had been said that the stars would shine particularly bright that night, so they chose to go out and enjoy the show like they would sometimes do. Jeongin didn’t have any work the following day and Hyunjin is unemployed –an artist, he says, which goes as unemployed on record-, so there was nothing stopping them from doing this even on a weekday.

They fell asleep at some point and the next thing that Hyunjin remembers is being violently woken up by a police officer. According to him, he doesn’t recall anything else until a few hours later, when he woke up again, this time in the police station while being asked to testify. He was suddenly told that he would most likely get arrested for the assassination of his best friend.

The story is not the only thing that matters, it is about how he tells the story as well. It is about what he decides to say and what he leaves behind, what expressions he makes, what verbs and adjectives he decides to use. There’s a lot hidden there that can be important to decide whether he did this or not. Minho is the expert on this area, but there are things that Jisung is able to point out as well.

Affection is something that comes afloat very quickly. A deeply-rooted love for Jeongin, one so obvious that becomes almost pathetic at times. 

Yes, Hyunjin looks pathetic as he talks and talks about how much he loved his dear friend, how much he followed him around like a loyal puppy and did everything in his hands to make him happy. It is uncomfortable to hear and it is uncomfortable to watch him as he cries. 

When he finally stops, Jisung decides to go on with the questioning.

‘’Hyunjin, remember that right now we are a team. You and I are allies and we are trying to find a way to the truth together. You said that you wanted justice, didn’t you?’’ He starts his speech. The questions that he is going to do next are pre-made, he knows what he is going to say.

‘’Yeah…’’

‘’Then please Hyunjin, tell me, is there something we should know? Once the investigation begins all the little secrets you may have will start floating into the surface. It will be in your best interest if you just tell us instead of having us find it out on our own.’’

‘’I don’t get it, I have nothing to hide...’’ Hyunjin mumbles.

‘’What my partner here is too afraid to ask is the following,’’ Minho interrupts, moving closer to Hyunjin and making sure he has his attention before asking. ‘’Do you know if there is anything that will point you as the perpetrator? Is there anything that could link you to his murder? Anything other than being the only person found on the crime scene, that is.’’

‘’No,’’ he says with resolve looking at Minho in the eyes and then changing to Jisung. His words seem to be really sincere. ‘’No,’’ he repeats, ‘’ I’m his best friend, the person that has helped him the most, the one that has been there for him every time he needed someone. Ask anyone and they will tell you how much…how much I loved him, how important he was for me and how important I was for him.’’

It is pitiful and agonizing to watch. Hwang Hyunjin is a specimen so beautiful that even Jisung, a person that would mock a kid for crying without a second thought, can’t help but want to comfort him until he feels better. 

His long neck is asking to be caressed, his face is asking to be held and to receive comfort. A person with these looks shouldn’t be going through the things he is, a person with perfect lips and bone structure, with shining eyes, and with those delicate arms…those delicate arms. _Those arms._

‘’What’s that on your arm?’’ Jisung asks, interrupting whatever it was that the other two were saying.

‘’What’s what?’’ Hyunjin asks back, trying to hide his arms in a defense mechanism.

‘’It is faint, but there are bruises in your arms,’’ he points out, receiving a surprised gasp from Minho, who notices the splotches of purple and green spread out in Hyunjin’s skin.

‘’The police probably did it when they forced me to come here, they were really rough,’’ he is quick to answer, still acting defensive and trying to hide his body from the people interrogating him as best as possible.

‘’No,’’ Minho interrupts, raising his hand and pointing directly at Hyunjin, ‘’there are also bruises in your neck, the police didn’t make those. Put your hair behind your ear,’’ He commands.

Hesitant, Hyunjin touches his long, black, silky hair, but he is still not answering to the order that Minho just made. He doesn’t want to pull his hair back.

‘’Hyunjin, pull back your hair. If you don't do it I’m going to do it myself and I won’t be as gentle,’’ Minho’s threat is empty, Jisung knows it. But it sounds so real that it almost makes him shiver. 

Minho making use of police violence would be one the most contradicting pictures he would ever see. An oxymoron.

‘’If it wasn’t the police then was the attacker,’’ Hyunjin tries to explain, whiny voice as he pulls his hair back and shows his bruises to the detectives. ‘’he must have bruised me when he forced me to take the drugs.’’

Faithful to his fictional character, Jisung is letting Minho be the one that voices out the implications that they both know come from this. Minho seems to be taking his time to analyze the situation, most likely wanting Hyunjin to get nervous. It is working, Hyunjin is crying once again.

‘’You know what those bruises look like, Hyunjin?’’ He asks after a while, ‘’they look like the ones a person trying to escape from you would leave on your skin.’’

The silky hair coming out of Hyunjin’s skull is now being grabbed by the dry skin of his twitching hands. The rate of his breathing is starting to increase. His tears are rolling faster and faster. He is starting to hyperventilate.

‘’You got it all wrong, I’m telling you it was the attacker! He must’ve had this whole thing planned!’’ His screams are still somehow polite. He is very clearly feeling awful, but he still hasn’t unleashed the repressed anger that a serial killer would necessarily have.

‘’Why would anyone plan on murdering Jeongin when you say that he was such an amazing member of the community, loved by everyone? Who would take the time to plan this out so thoroughly only to incriminate you?’’ Minho asks, using his relaxed and monotone therapist voice.

‘’Are you trying to say that it was me?’’ He cries out.

‘’No, I’m asking you who you think would do it,’’ Minho replicates.

‘’All this time, we’ve only tried to use your help to solve this case,’’ Jisung adds.

‘’Why would I do it when I loved him so much?’’ Hyunjin asks, choking in his sobs. By now his blessed-by-the-gods face is full of tears and snot. He is using his sleeves to try and get rid of them.

‘’I don’t know, Hyunjin. Why are you so obstinate in talking about yourself instead of telling us of other possible suspects? Are you afraid to let those feelings arise? To admit that perhaps you have a motive for killing him?’’ Minho asks, finding a way into him.

‘’No one would do this…everyone loved him…’’

‘’But someone did do it, Hyunjin. Someone grabbed poor Jeongin and killed him, someone even raped him. Who was it?’’ 

‘’I don’t know…I don’t know. I’m too tired, I can’t think,’’ he crosses his arms, his face blank and hiding behind his hair.

‘’Hyunjin, tell us who did this, please,’’ Jisung begs.

The suspect refuses to talk. The detectives try to make him answer, they try to get some reaction out of him, but all attempts are futile. He doesn’t want to speak. Half an hour goes away and there’s still no words coming out of him.

Minho looks at Jisung, silently asking him to make a decision about this situation.

‘’We’ll go get some coffee, Hyunjin. You stay here. When we come back please try to collaborate with us, after all we are trying to get the same thing: justice for Yang Jeongin.’’

Even with his face bloated and reddened, even with the lack of sleep and the stress that is consuming his body from head to toes, Hyunjin’s manners seem to be as alluring as always. It is annoying to be using to same word that Minho used earlier, but for fuck’s sake, Jisung would we lying to say that he doesn’t wonder how Hyunjin looks when he isn’t under stress.

The idea of a break seems to be accepted too quickly by the suspect, which is a bad indicator. Still Jisung knows that everyone in the room is going to go mad if they keep this pointless interrogation that is leading them nowhere. Who knows? Perhaps if they let Hyunjin get bored enough he will be more docile and cooperative. He might get so exhausted to the point of losing his filter.

Just as the pair of the detectives is getting up, the suspect decides to do it as well. Jisung is about to remind him that he isn’t allowed to leave the interrogation room, but he soon notices that his intentions are only to stretch a bit. Sitting for such a prolonged time must have left him strained.

Hyunjin stretches forward and Jisung isn’t willing to take his look away. Call him an idiot, but the curves of the lower side of his suspect’s body have caught his attention and now he doesn’t know how to look away. He is tall, just like the witnesses had said, but his body is too nice to go unnoticed. 

Minho told Jisung to be wary of Hyunjin, to fight his attraction for him and that’s exactly what makes it impossible for Jisung to do it. The prohibition is what makes it all the more seductive. Cause and effect, not fate.

But perhaps Minho was wrong. Perhaps Jisung’s fixation on the suspect will end up working in his favor. It was this special attention that made him notice the bruises on his arms, and now, while Hyunjin stretches from one side to the other, it is the attraction he is feeling towards him what makes him see beyond the apparent. 

‘’He is bullshitting us,’’ Jisung states, looking at Minho with resolve. He grabs the coffee that some unknown man offers him and goes to the machine to brew another one for his partner.

‘’He is, but what do you mean in particular?’’ With furrowed brows, Minho is munching on some left-over fried rice with kimchi and other vegetables he found in the fridge. He looks like a starving child.

‘’Do you remember how he said he was sent to a private boarding school? Private school my balls, did you see him when he bended?’’

‘’No. Why were you so interested in seeing him bend?’’ Minho frowns, not happy about it.

‘’That’s not the fucking point, hyung,’’ He rolls his eyes even if he knows that Minho is right on suspecting him. It is not like he is going to act on his attraction anyways, so there’s nothing to worry about. ‘’He has a tattoo there!’’

The frown on Minho’s face is only made deeper. He stops chewing for a moment to ask.

‘’On his lower back?’’

‘’A fucking tattoo on his lower back, hyung!’’ Jisung screams while raising his hands. He soon realizes the tone in his voice and looks around with an apologetic smile, going back to fumbling with the old coffee machine that the station’s kitchen holds. It is late night by now and not a lot of people are left on the station. In any case, Jisung should always try to be more careful when revealing the details of an on-going investigation.

‘’How does a tattoo mean that he didn’t go to a private school?’’ Minho decides to take over the coffee making, as Jisung seems to be too distracted to do it. ‘’And by the way, can you maybe tone down the insults?’’

Jisung goes back to whispering as the machine gives them some mixed beverage with a light brown color. _Disgusting,_ he thinks as he sees himself reflected on the muddy surface of his own coffee.

‘’He was sent to jail, not to a boarding school. Maybe not an actual jail, but some reformatory, perhaps in Gimcheon,’’ he states, sure of the discovery he has made.

‘’You think that he was sent to a reformatory because of a tattoo? Isn’t that a bit outdated?’’

‘’Oh, come on, hyung, you have spent too much time in the USA, but don’t play the fool, you know that no one respectable gets a tattoo here, specially not some rich kid attending a private school wouldn’t get a tattoo, specifically not one on his lower back!’’ Jisung whines. By now he feels comfortable enough around Minho to let this part of himself unleash. His interest in the investigation seems to have shifted and now he is willing to truly collaborate.

‘’Maybe he got it after he got out…’’

‘’It was a really ugly, faded tattoo, probably hand-poked. It wasn’t recent at all. Trust me, something as ugly and tacky as that means he has visited some shady place. We already know that he has had a problem with drug addiction, even if he tries his best to deny it. It wouldn’t be impossible for him to have gotten in trouble when he was younger.’’

‘’Okay, let’s say you are right and he was in fact sent to a reformatory, how do you explain why we didn’t see that when we were looking through his record?’’

‘’He is a rich kid, his family could’ve perfectly payed to have it buried. We need to look deeper.’’

Minho rests on his hips, trying to give the idea a chance. After a few seconds he looks back at Jisung, his eyes are telling even before he says anything.

‘’Fuck, I think you have a really good point there. I will talk with the inspector and make him look deeper, see what’s buried,’’ he is excited, the idea of an unknown clue being revealed is better at giving him energy than the coffee on his hands. ‘’If he has a record, then it will allow us to finally arrest him. Even more important than that, him having a record will further prove the theory of him fitting the disorganized serial killer category.’’

With his words a double victory is visible in the horizon. One coming from the fact that Jisung was able to catch a point that Minho had overseen. The other one comes with the language he has used to say it.

‘’What happened with not insulting?’’ He teases him.

‘’We have a serial killer to catch, Jisung, don’t be silly,’’ Minho brushes it off, but Jisung knows that he is probably feeling embarrassed at having been caught.

A moment of silence passes in which Jisung is trying his best to keep his impulses at bay, but after some seconds he can’t help but sing in a silly voice, ‘’Lee Minho hyung, a potty-mouthed man, what will think inspector Park when he finds out.’’

For a moment Jisung thinks that Minho has actually gotten mad. He’s frowning and looking at him with an exasperated look. After another second, however, he sees him biting his lip. The man is repressing a laugh at Jisung’s stupid song.

‘’Aren’t you in your thirties already? I’m your hyung, don’t act like a brat.’’

‘’You are the old one, hyung. I’m still in my twenties, fresh as a lettuce and full of juvenile energy...’’ 

Juvenile energy.

Hyunjin is supposed to be his same age, so why has he been acting so out of touch with the real world? So void of that juvenile energy? 

‘’Was he really drugged when the police found him?’’ He asks out of nowhere.

Jisung doesn’t need to explain what he is referring to, Minho understands the question perfectly and on the spot.

‘’He was drugged enough to not be able to remember his name, that’s the only reason we haven’t charged him yet. The drug he was on is somehow common in this zone, a lot of the church kids that want to rebel against their parents take it at least once.’’

‘’Church is really big here, isn’t it?’’ Jisung asks, already knowing the answer. It has been mentioned too many times to not be important.

‘’You have no idea. The rest of the country might be fairly secularized, but this town in particular is under the influence of white people and their religion. They have made a real thing out of it.’’

Images of younger Minho play in his head, images he formed of the almost unknown kid he was supposed to vanquish. According to Jisung’s father, Minho was the smartest kid he had ever met, he had been interested in politics ever since a younger age and had always been a firm atheist. 

‘’Hyung…sorry for being so blunt, but why the fuck did you come here?’’

‘’What do you mean?’’ He asks, but Jisung knows that the meaning of the question isn’t lost on Minho.

‘’You had a career in the USA, why not stay there?’’

‘’I hate USA’s imperialism, I wouldn’t have stay there even if they had payed me for it- which they tried,’’ Minho answers after taking a sip out of his coffee.’’ I also missed my mom a lot,’’ he adds as an afterthought.

Lies.

‘’Then why not go to Seul? Or to any other country? Any place but this shithole.’’

‘’That’s a complicated question to answer…’’ 

Jisung doesn’t understand how that can be complicated, but yet again, he has never been one to care about what other people think. Motives are usually things he can point with ease: lust, greed, or any financial motive, really, family, love, etc. What can be so complicated about saying it?

A voice inside of him contradicts him, reminding him that he is not as detached from other people’s expectations as he likes to think. _What would you do if he asks you why you decided to take this case? Would you tell him that you were hoping for a chance to prove your worth to him? To beat him?_

In all honesty, he wouldn’t be able to say the truth. As it is, Minho doesn’t have the opportunity to answer either. A person is running in their direction, giving him an easy way out. It doesn’t matter, Jisung will remember to ask later. 

He _always_ remembers.

‘’These results just came back from the laboratory,’’ the person that just arrived announces loudly as he tries to catch his breath, resting on his knees and looking ecstatic. 

‘’And?’’ They both ask in a strained voice at the same time. 

‘’Positive,’’ the man announces, holding up a paper with English words written in red over a bigger text. ‘’Positive for Hwang Hyunjin’s semen on the body of Yang Jeongin.’’

This time Jisung and Minho don’t share a look. They don’t need it, the words pronounced by the technician are enough to put them on track. Minho grabs the paper from the hands of the man and starts running in the direction of the interrogation room, Jisung just follows him, knowing about the turn of events that is about to unravel.

The muddy liquid on Jisung’s cup is left behind, dripping on the floor and waiting for someone else to wipe it off. After all he only got the chance to take a single sip out of it. 

Chances are that it was his own imagination playing tricks on him, but he finds that his reflection on the vase is distorted in ways that he had never seen before.

The image they find in the interrogation room is so peaceful that Jisung feels almost sorry about having to be the one breaking it. Hyunjin is taking a rest on the table using his arms as a pillow. He is not sleeping, but he does seem to be less stressed. This state is not going to last for long.

Minho sits in his chair heavily. He wants to assert dominance. He wants the other man to acknowledge his presence. Hyunjin raises his head slowly, he looks tired and he must really be. God knows when the last time the poor man got some sleep was.

No, he is not a poor man, he is a murderer. A murderer playing a game and trying to trick them. Trying to trick Jisung.

In the void of the windowless room, seconds seem to stretch in time, becoming unmeasurable, never-ending and as fleet as possible. Time. Time goes by but not one person inside the room can tell how much time has gone by. Time has lost its meaning in this game.

Hyunjin starts to grow nervous under the stern look of the two interrogators.

‘’We just want to know why,’’ Minho says after he decides that enough time has passed for them to talk.

‘’I don’t know what you mean,’’ Hyunjin answers, slowly.

‘’Why would you kill your best friend?’’

‘’I didn’t kill Jeongin,’’ Hyunjin says, emphasizing every word. He sounds almost bored.

‘’We know you killed Jeongin, Hyunjin. It will be easier for you if you just confess,’’ Minho presses.

‘’You can’t know that because I didn’t do it.’’

The paper shoved on the table is coming from Minho’s hands, slowly pushing it towards Hyunjin, not breaking eye contact at any point. Hyunjin takes it with reluctance. At first the English words made no sense to him, just like they hadn’t to Jisung at first. But when the Korean starts appearing, Hyunjin’s nervousness resurfaces.

Trembling and void of any color in his face, he gets the confirmation from Minho. Any hope sheltered from having read it wrong is swept away.

‘’We found your semen inside the dead body of your best friend, you fucking _freak_.’’

‘’This…this is not what it looks like,’’ he begins, but he can’t continue. Jisung can’t help but think that, just as it had happened to him earlier, he is saying nothing because there’s nothing to be said.

‘’Hyunjin, I don’t think this can mean anything else. You should tell us the truth, this is your chance to do it,’’ Jisung tries to help him.

‘’I didn’t kill him, I swear I didn’t kill him.’’ He stands up, his whole body a trembling mess as he starts pacing around the room, biting on his nails and looking lost. ‘’The s-the semen, there must be another kind of explanation for that. Maybe...maybe when I was drugged the person who did this to-to him grabbed me and did this. I didn’t do it. The attacker did it. The attacker. Not me. The attacker.’’

He is lying; he is so blatantly lying and trying to come up with excuses that he can’t even believe himself. Jisung thinks that they have him, this is a dead end for him. His façade of a mourning friend is crumbling. 

But then…

‘’Did the attacker force you to fuck your friend while drugged? Or did he get your semen and shove it up your friend’s corpse separately? Don’t fuck with us, you are not expecting us to believe that. You are saying just whatever bullshit comes to your mind,’’ Minho provokes him.

People on the other side of the glass are most likely reacting with fear to Hyunjin’s actions, for he buries his head in his hands, scratching it until his eyes are firmly pressed against the heel of his hands. A low groan becomes a scream, a raging scream that takes up the whole room. Jisung can’t help but think that this rage suits Hyunjin a lot better than the role he was trying to play before. A raging Hyunjin full of passion is worthy of making a painting of. Even if he makes chills run up and down Jisung’s spine.

 _This is a rich kid crying because he was caught doing something he wasn’t supposed to do,_ Jisung thinks as he sees him squatting on the floor and crying in between screams, throwing his chair away in a fit of rage.

‘’Are you going to tell us why you did it, Hyunjin? Look how bad you are feeling, look how much pain you have inside. This pain will only go away if you tell us, only the truth will set you free,’’ Jisung tells him with a calmed voice, trying to trick him into talking.

‘’He was my fucking boyfriend, you fucking pigs!’’ Hyunjin screams, his voice wet as he spits the words on top of his lungs.

 _Ah_ , that's it.

A moment of realization goes by. But they can’t let surprise get the best out of them. Minho is the first one to talk, always exceedingly good at connecting one point with the others.

‘’You think that him being your boyfriend makes you less of a suspect? You just dug your own grave, then, Hyunjin. The boyfriend is always the prime suspect in cases like this.’’

‘’You found what you found because we had sex like normal boyfriends do. The bruises we have is because that’s the way we fuck. Not that you would know, you look like a fucking prude,’’ his words are directed towards Minho, he is not even looking in Jisung’s direction.

Minho laughs, but it comes out bitter, resentful. Hyunjin did manage piss him off. ‘’I bet you are impotent. You couldn’t even fuck him and that’s why he wanted to leave you. He probably went out and fucked people that could actually satisfy him. You decided to kill him and you fucked him after out of rage.’’

Hyunjin just plainly screams for a while, a sound of rage and hurt pride that after a while starts to morph into comprehensible words. Beautiful and terrifying.

‘’What the fuck are you even talking about?! I loved him! I loved him with all my being! Whoever killed him didn’t only take my best friend away from me, he took the love of my life. And now…and now he’s trying to frame me from this. But I didn’t do it, I couldn’t have done it.’’ His level of rage slowly decreases as he keeps on talking.

‘’Okay, maybe this part of you that loves him wouldn’t have killed him, but maybe there’s another part of you, one that doesn’t like him as much, one that is angry at him. Maybe he did something you didn’t like and then you had to say to yourself _okay, I need to control this situation somehow_ ,’’ Jisung intervenes, trying to make use of the stress Hyunjin is under.

‘’I wouldn’t have done that to him,’’ Hyunjin states.

‘’Did he do anything to make you angry, did he cheat on you? Did he say he was going to leave you?’’ Jisung asks.

‘’I have an idea of what could’ve happened,’’ Minho cuts him, crossing his arms and distancing himself from the suspect, ‘’ you said that his biggest desire was to make his family proud, didn’t you? I don’t think his parents would’ve been too happy to know what was going on between the two of you.’’

‘’His family loved me,’’ he whispers, but doesn’t make a bigger attempt at proving Minho wrong. His whole body trembles as he seems to have completely lost it. He wonders if they will have to make use of force at some point if Hyunjin ends up becoming actually violent.

The idea of having to use force against Hyunjin is stomach-turning. He seems too fragile, too graceful and even innocent and pathetic at times. Fuck, Jisung can feel the bile coming up his throat once again and feels grateful at not having drink the coffee he was given.

‘’Perhaps they loved you as the clingy friend of his son that kept following him around no matter what. I don’t think they would’ve loved you as a son in law. They probably wanted someone like Shin Ryujin or Im Chohee to be Jeongin’s girlfriends, didn’t they?’’ Minho suggests. ‘’Maybe he came and told you that he was going to leave you for one of them.’’

String after string of hair is getting plucked out of Hyunjin’s scalp, that’s the force with which he is trying to both repress the pain and anger inside of him and find a way out. 

As if a psychic connection was meddling between the two of them, the realization seems to come down on both of them at the same time. Minho committed a mistake. Minho fucked it up and both Jisung and Hyunjin were able to tell.

It was rushed, he shouldn’t have talked about the other two girls so soon. Now Hyunjin has found a way out of this.

‘’You are trying to charge me for the murder of the three of them, aren’t you?’’

‘’So you are saying you know about the murders of the two girls?’’ Minho tries to regain control of the situation. At least with this turn of events, Hyunjin is giving them more information.

‘’Small town, it would be impossible for me not to know about the two girls getting brutally killed.’’

Brutally, that’s the word Hyunjin uses. Was it known by everyone that the murders were brutal? Does Hyunjin know the details about them? Saying that something is brutal means that he is making a value judgement about the events. Is he trying to sound compassionate? Does he think that the simple fact that they were killed means that it was brutal? Or does he have more information on the case than what he should?

Jisung is starting to feel nauseous at just remembering the pictures he was shown earlier. He hadn’t reacted to the pictures like this when he saw them. Why is it that now the talk and the images are making him sick? He puts one hand on the table, grabbing it in an attempt to ground himself, ignoring the cold sweat on his forehead as best as he can.

‘’Do you only know them because of the news?’’ Minho asks.

‘’No, the two of them were at the center at some point. I met Shin Ryujin-ssi once, she was quickly discharged because she lied about her habits. Chohee noona would come and go multiple times, so I saw her more than once, but we never really talked. She is...was a really violent woman and I didn’t like that.’’

‘’Ah, I see someone has decided to start talking. Why did you kill them? Did Jeongin take an interest in them and you didn’t like that?’’ 

Instead of answering Minho’s question, Hyunjin decides to fill his own curiosity

‘’You have decided that the same person killed the three of them, haven’t you?’’ He asks, looking at the ceiling as if this new information was something he needed to ponder upon.

‘’Just like with my sources, I have no obligation to discuss on-going investigations with a suspect, Hyunjin. I do, however, believe that it was you the one that killed the three of them.’’

‘’If you think that the same person committed the three crimes that must be because they are similar in some way, right?’’ his eyes illuminate as an idea comes.’’ I know! There was probably semen found in them as well, wasn’t it? Check it and you’ll see that the semen doesn’t match with mine.’’

What is the best choice to take? Lie to him and say that the semen matches with the one found in the other two corpses? Or tell him the truth, that there was no semen found in them, meaning there is no easy way out for Hyunjin.

Fuck, now Jisung is thinking about those poor girls again…about poor Jeongin...about the sexual assault. His mind is starting to bend and turn. He is not feeling well. What should he say? An answer, he needs an answer. What should he say?

‘’I…’’ Jisung tries to say, grabbing the table with all the strength he has left. His body is feeling weak, and there’s a pain in his stomach that makes him think that death has settled in there.

‘’Hyunjin, maybe you hadn’t decided to kill Jeongin, maybe you just wanted to make him understand the way you felt. Maybe it all started like that and the result was an accident, I can understand that,’’ Minho pushes.

‘’Check the fucking DNA and you’ll see that it won’t match, then I will go home and you will apologize for making me go through all of this.’’

‘’I…’’ Jisung tries again, putting a second hand on the table, trembling and on the verge of falling. The sounds become muffled. He closes his eyes and sees a million points of different colors. Could they be trying to say something?

‘’Jisung!’’ Is the only word he manages to make out.

_This will cure you, Jisung. Take this and it will make you sacred again. Take it and you will go back to the path of light, to the path of Jesus._

Jisung falls on his knees. Death, unimpressed, decided to give him another day. He bends and lets all the rot inside of his stomach get out. Everything around him is a mess. The sounds, the lights, the images.

_You will never be sacred again, Jisung._

In the darkness, points of light are being mixed. Playing with each other, the points turn and change and become color after color like a kaleidoscope of his own.

Opening his eyes is an option that sounds closer to a punishment made by the hell he almost visited than anything else. Moving his body, on the other hand, is not even an option, his limbs have turned into stuck pieces of an unmoving machine, too broken to function, too sick to revive.

When facing an illness, Jisung has always been a whiny one.

It is the next day when he wakes up in his motel room. Or in what he assumes, by the looks of it, is his motel room. He feels like shit and his mouth tastes even worse.

Minho is lying on the sofa, the same clothes he had been using the last time Jisung saw him. Has he been here all along? Has he been the one to strip Jisung off his work clothes and put him in bed? The idea would make him blush if he wasn’t so utterly confused.

‘’I see you decided to wake up,’’ Minho remarks, looking unimpressed.

‘’What the fuck happened?’’

‘’Did you eat something putrid?’’ Minho asks, moving to sit up on the couch and using his left hand to comb his hair.

Following Minho’s initiative, Jisung tries to get up as well. He doesn’t have the time to act like a child right now. 

The heating on the motel is either broken or inexistent. As soon as Jisung tries to get up, with unsteady legs and a rumbling stomach, the coldness takes hold of his body, penetrating his bones and making everything hurt even worse.

‘’I didn’t. What happened?’’ He asks once again, looking for his slippers and for his coat. It is so fucking cold. He had no idea why Minho decided to stay here with him.

‘’You threw up like I’ve never seen a person vomit before.’’

‘’Have you seen a lot of people vomiting?’’ He teases, noticing that there’s something weird in him.

Minho decides to finally answer his original question.

‘’We got Hyunjin. Probable cause. He has been arrested,’’ His voice keeps on being monotone. He is not talking as he usually does.

‘’Why do I have the feeling that this is bad news?’’

‘’You tell me. Let’s see Han Jisung and his precise detective skills in action.’’

With effort, Jisung manages to get up and take a look at himself in the mirror. Normally, he wouldn’t pay attention to how shitty he looks. In the presence of Minho, however…

‘’We only got proof for one of the murders,’’ He says, watching Minho on the reflection getting up off the sofa and throwing himself in Jisung’s bed. Jisung feels like he should be annoyed by this, but he isn’t.

‘’That's why you shouldn’t have vomited and then slept for twelve hours straight. We need to go back and see how we can get proof for the other two murders.’’

Jisung turns around, furrowing his brows as he starts to put clothes on.

‘’Are you seriously angry at me?’’

‘’No...I’m worried.’’

‘’Worried about what?’’

‘’Have you ever puked like that before?’’

‘’I don’t even remember what happened.’’

‘’There’s the answer. You haven’t. It is too odd.’’

Jisung puts his clothes on in silence.

‘’You know…’’ Minho starts, staring at the ceiling, his body splayed out on the shitty bed that the police department has paid for Jisung to stay in.

‘’What?’’

‘’We have this rule in interviews I usually make, according to which we are not supposed to judge the person being interviewed no matter what they say.’’

‘’What does that that have to do with anything?’’

Minho rolls his head, looking at Jisung this time. ‘’Don’t you think that Hwang Hyunjin is a particularly fascinating case?’’

‘’Don’t tell me that you are the one getting allured by him, not after all the nagging you threw at me.’’

The way in which Minho scoffs has more spite it should. He seems more affected by this than what his usual reactions allow others to see. ‘’Like I would ever be attracted to someone as…as…I would never like someone like him, Jisung.’’

Why has this comment offended Minho? Why was this worthy of his indignation? Minho’s eyes are still fixed on his, and suddenly the spark on them is too much to take, he needs to look away. 

Being the one that can’t maintain eye contact is shameful. He doesn’t want to feel dominated in this way. Still, it is better than the alternative. 

‘’He is also most likely sexually impotent…’’ Minho adds, and Jisung is not sure if he’s still looking his way, if he would be able to say those words while looking at him.

In a world full of possibilities, this is the furthest away from whatever conversation he would’ve ever thought that he and Lee Minho would be sharing. The unfamiliarity that has hit him in the face ever since he met him for the first time after fifteen years has made him lose control. He has been shocked one too many times by Minho in the past hours, and he isn’t going to let this keep happening.

‘’Ha! I thought you had said that only to get on his nerves,’’ Jisung tries to joke.

‘’He is quite fascinating, I feel the need to make him tell me everything about his life, but I know I can’t do that. I can’t offer him the security of not having consequences, and that’s the only thing that would make him say all the truth.’’

‘’Why are you telling me this?’’

‘’I’m just sharing with you the aspects that I feel could transform me into a liability,’’ He lets a second go by before asking, ‘’Do _you_ have anything you want to share with me regarding that aspect?’’

Knowing where Minho wants the conversation to go, he decides to turn it around. Gain confidence and that.

‘’Yeah…you lied to him.’’

‘’Which one of all the lies is the one causing you doubts?’’

‘’How did you know about him and the rehabilitation center? You don’t have the authority to demand for any kind of information from them.’’

‘’Do you think I should go through cop school? How is it? Six months of training and I get to shoot and kill whoever I want?’’

‘’How did you get it, hyung?’’ He presses.

‘’I know someone from there, okay?’’

‘’Who?’’

‘’Christopher Bang,’’ He says with caution, clearly expecting some sort of reaction from him.

‘’Should that name ring any bell?’’

‘’I assume you don’t watch a lot of tv.’’

‘’Is he some sort of actor?’’

‘’He is, but that’s not what he would call himself.’’

‘’I don’t get it.’’

‘’He is part of the church, the one that runs the rehabilitation center. Even though he is technically Korean he has lived his whole life in Australia, so he is closer to this religion.’’ An idea seems to come up in his head, but it comes with a sigh. ‘’ Maybe you should go check it out, there might be clues that I haven’t seen there.’’

‘’On the church?’’

‘’The church and the center are connected with one another, the church is easier to access to.’’

‘’Okay. Yeah, I think that’s a good idea.’’

Realization comes down like a bucket of cold water. No, it doesn’t, not yet at least. That big realization has yet to come. What Jisung is actually seeing is a start, a thread to follow. There’s something between the church and Minho, something that he hasn’t revealed yet. Perhaps this has nothing to do with the investigation. Perhaps this represents a potential threat that Jisung will have to keep an eye on.

Jisung really fucking hates churches, but they seem inevitable in this damned town.

‘’Whenever we get some dead time I will take you there.’’

‘’Do you even know how to drive, hyung? I think I will be the one taking you.’’

‘’Whatever,’’ Minho says, but he seems to be caught in the thought,’’ do you know how to fix it and all?’’

‘’Yeah, why? Do you need help with something?’’

‘’No…I just had a flashback of my father saying _did you know that Jisung-ah knows how to connect ten different kinds of electric board? He’s so talented, you should be like him, you should act like a real men.’’_ Minho impersonates the voice of his father with a particular resentment in it. ‘’ Jisung this, Jisung that. I still don’t understand how it was that you always knew how to do something that I didn’t.’’

Family history has always felt like a jigsaw to Jisung, like pieces that will only make sense when put together. Finding things like the fact that his grandfather was actually an orphan led him into understanding why it was that he always needed such attention from everyone else. Finding out that his grandmother had had an amazing and loving father figure lead him to understand why it was that she always stopped her husband when he was crossing some sort of boundaries with her, which in turned helped Jisung learned that even though he was a man, woman didn’t owe him any sort of service, something that his peers sometimes struggled to understand.

Minho is not family, not really. Jisung used to spend a lot of time playing with his cousins and his neighbors, he played with them day and night and whenever he could get rid of the homework and lectures his father made him go through. Minho was never there.

He has always been more like a ghost, like the inevitable spectrum that would wake him up at night to remind him that he would never be enough, that a standard exists and that he is far away from reaching it. 

The standard is lying on his shitty bed now, baring his insecurities and admitting that Jisung represented an unreachable standard for him too. Minho is not family, and it is a stretch to call him a friend, but he has been more present in his life than many of his past friends, he has been more important in his life than the man that Jisung left in Seul with no explanations.

Minho isn’t family, but his confession is an important piece added to the picture that draws what Jisung’s whole self has come to be. To see that the person he has been envying this whole time lacks something that Jisung has isn’t an ego boost, it is simply relaxing. The weight on his back isn’t gone, but this new perspective comes as a relief, as a realization that he has long needed.

Perhaps he doesn’t need to beat Minho, he doesn’t need to show him that he can win. Maybe what happened was that they were both held up to unfair standards. They didn’t take in account the specific abilities that each of them held. 

Jisung, a boy that liked to get his hands dirty, to disassemble whatever he had on his reach only to rebuild it in new and creative ways, a boy that could pick up on details that no one ever saw, this boy was put down again and again because he didn’t have the concentration to read books with thousands of pages and connect what one old man said with what the next old man said. Minho, a boy that devoured books as if they were the only thing keeping him alive, that could maintain conversations with experts such as Jisung’s father and always understood what it was being talked about, this boy was put down for not knowing how to fix things or how to properly interact with the material world.

It all made sense now. Minho said that he was his ally, and he might really be it.

‘’You really need to tell me what’s going on between you and the church, hyung. I understand if you can’t do it now, but you will have to do this eventually if you really want us to collaborate together.’’ He says out of nowhere, needing to get that out before acknowledging the next thing. ‘’And just so you know, my father was just the same with me, he always made me feel like I would never be good enough…never good as you.’’

‘’I knew that,’’ Minho answers with melancholy in his words, skipping the church theme for now. ‘’I worked with you father for some time, he loved you very dearly, did you know that?’’

‘’I really think that’s a subject we should discuss another day, perhaps when we already have a murderer behind bars.’’

An omen. That’s the only name Jisung can put to the dead bird being left on the door of his room. Even him, the less superstitious person he has ever met, can’t deny that a dead bird on the front of his current hostel carries some sort of message.

‘’This question might seem to come out of the blue, but have you perhaps made something to upset someone in here?’’ Minho asks, putting the dead animal in a plastic bag. He is aiming to throw it on the garbage, but at the last moment decides against it. ‘’Maybe we should keep this, it might work as evidence.’’

‘’Evidence?’’

‘’Yesterday you threw up like a madman even though you hadn’t even eaten, now we find a dead bird on the door of your room. I don’t know, it seems like too much bad luck for it to be random.’’

‘’You think someone provoked this?’’

‘’I have no idea…what I do know is that people around here are not happy at all with what’s going on. At this point it might even be better for Hyunjin to stay on the station than going outside, everyone seems to know that he is the main suspect and, I don’t know, I guess I’m scared that things might get violent if he goes out to the streets.’’

‘’Okay, but why would anyone do anything to me? Aren’t you the one that’s been on this case for a longer time? Shouldn’t they retaliate against you?’’

‘’I have no idea. Maybe it has to do with the fact that you are an outsider?’’

‘’Dying in this fucking town would be the lamest way to die, I’d rather die from, I don’t know, organ failure at age 95 than being killed by the religious weirdos of this town.’’

Minho laughs. The laugh is somehow blood-curling.

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and Comments are really appreciated. Go follow me on twitter [here](https://twitter.com/satoflove?s=09)


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